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 Fire and Stone
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"Heart Full of Hate" is a song that I've described as something beautiful and terrible. Rarely have I made a song where I was more emotionally invested with sadness and heartbreak. During the winter of 2011 and beginning of 2012, I was going through my divorce, and the concept of this song was rattling around in my head for a while. In late 2012, much later, something clicked in my head via inspiration, creativity, whatever, and it flowed out of me. A week or so later, I recorded the song. This was hard to record, especially once the tracks started filling out and coming together, because once the music started coming alive, it became extremely moving and difficult to finish, but was also theraputic. One technical note that was an annoyance was that my Lexicon Alpha seemed to be having some problems during recording, which made it difficult to monitor the vocals as I sang, so the song ended up with some pitch problems in the finished product. However, my pitch snaffus are only noticeable at low volume. (So crank it!) "Heart Full of Hate" is not attached to a particular album at this time. |
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Damn you, girl. We were fighting from the start. Why did I try so hard to make you a part of me? Even now I have all of my pictures of you Smiling back at me. And I remember when I really meant forever Oh baby, you and me forever... But you kill all the love inside me (I am forgiveness) Then you crush my heart and abuse me (I am forgiveness) All I've left are memories of a hurtful love And now this Heart full of Hate! I never wanted any of this But you insist on Lying and fighting me every damned step of the way And where are you now? Oh, look at you now. ... Look at us now... You made me hate you to survive (You lie, you lie) Sometimes I look upon your face, my love And remember the warmth we shared at times Then I remind myself of what you've done All the bad, and what you tried to do to me And I know what goes on in your broken mind All the rage, and all the pain inside... When I'm nothing but understanding (I am forgiveness) I gave you what you needed, even though it caused me pain You still tried to destroy me just to get your way You gave me this Heart full of Hate! I never wanted any of this But you insist on Lying and fighting me every damned step of the way And where are you now? Oh, look at you now. ... At what we are now! You were my love My life-long love! What a fool I was to make you mine But I am love And I am forgiveness So it's nobody's fault, Nobody's fault but mine It took me so long to release this heart of hate! And look at you now And look at me now How we've suffered now... |
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